


accelerating into you

by ningningbin



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Pining, best friend's brother type fic, dont swerve sunjake tag needs us, i'm passing this to the next sunjake author, look im just here because it's my turn to water the sunjake tag, txt are everywhere in this—soobin is sunoo's half brother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29993340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ningningbin/pseuds/ningningbin
Summary: "I'll make you love me, if you haven't yet." Sunoo's innocent statement sounds more like a threat, really.Jake thinks he might be in trouble.
Relationships: Kim Sunoo/Sim Jaeyun | Jake
Comments: 20
Kudos: 37





	accelerating into you

**Author's Note:**

> HI PEOPLE _pops confetti _WELCOME TO MY FIRST EVER SUNJAKE FIC? I've been thinking about them for a long time tbh, and this is just be exploring their dynamic because i love them way too much to not write about them ever.__  
>  _  
>  _This is going to be split into two parts: the main story of what happens, and i love this au so much that the 2nd chapter will just be??? deleted scenes that didn't make the cut to the main chapter_  
>  ___  
>  _I LOVE U ALL SUNJAKE COMMUNITY MAY WE RISE AND NEVER FALL_  
> 

Jake hadn't planned on, well, befriending Sunoo.

To be honest, he hadn't planned on a lot of this. He rolls over in bed and stares blankly at the ugly, _Monster High-_ themed digital clock Sunghoon got for his birthday three years ago as a joke and lets the bright _01:57_ burn into his eyeballs. He deserves the pain and the hurt—maybe it'll wash over him like a bucket of ice and bring him back to a reality where he didn't have a crush on a guy. _Oh my god I have a crush on a guy._

He's _pretty_ sure it's a crush, really. What else do you call looking at your guy friend and feeling like your heart is beating in your throat? The sky is wide, like a blue canvas with some wool pulled over it. Jake's heart is merely, what, the size of a fist? And it's still filled to the brim with thoughts of Kim Sunoo.

He shoots up in bed and punches the air, gritting his teeth even though no one's here to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight. _If only Sunoo were here he'd—_

Kim Sunoo is the root of this problem. And Jake needs to do something about it.

It isn't more like... the idea of possibly liking both girls _and_ guys (one so far, if he's keeping a record) that has the fear manifest on his face, brows meeting in the middle.That makes a lot of sense to him now, actually. No, maybe it's _really_ because Sunoo is Choi Soobin's soon-to-be brother when their parents wed, and Soobin _detests_ Jake's ass. For good reason, because all it takes is one dark moment to change someone's opinion of you. Soobin had walked in through the backdoor after seeing off _his_ boyfriend, Kai, and Jake had just arrived at the Chois' when he tripped over the ugly brown rug they insisted on laying out at the entrance and landed on poor, surprised Sunoo who'd come to get the door.

What happened in the next few minutes was a blur. Jake recalls quite a lot of screaming on Soobin's part, and equal parts giggling shaking the Adam's Apple on Sunoo's throat. It wasn't until _six_ months later that it'd occurred to Jake: _wait. How'd I know that Sunoo's throat had been bobbing like an earthquake? I've been paying attention to all the little details this whole time?_

Then Sunoo had added fuel to the fire by wrapping his arms around Jake's neck, pulling him closer, into a tighter embrace that definitely wasn't planned. His breathy laughs kept blowing air onto the shell of his ear, and all his senses had been fired up, unsure of _how_ to register the moment so they just sent him through a flurry of five options—embarrassment, for reasons that didn't need introduction nor explanation; _extreme_ panic, because Soobin had looked like he was ready to rain hellfire upon Jake for even _touching_ his baby brother; pure giddiness and glee, because he was really melting into this hug, and he could get used to how cuddly Sunoo is; a fleeting moment of sadness because he knows he's going to have to detach himself from the younger boy at some point; and an incoherent jumble of thoughts that sounded like a mantra of insanity, _ohmygod,iwanttosqueezesunoo_. 

"Get off of Sunoo _right now!"_ Soobin had staggered over to them in shock, and Jake was scrambling to get off the floor, fingernails not quite finding purchase on the floorboards but the _brat_ had circled his arms around Jake's waist and was latching on for dear life, clearly just to complicate things further. When Jake had briefly locked eyes with Sunoo while he was faced with his _fight-or-flight_ predicament, Sunoo had the gall to _wink._ He was enjoying this ruckus a little too much.

If there's one thing anyone should know about Kim Sunoo, it's that he stirs shit up just for the sake of the chaos. He _thrives_ in an economy of pandemonium, the reigning king over a mess that he started. It's really hell to deal with, a bunch of knots to untangle, when Jake is the new subject of Sunoo's social experiments, but it's endearing to watch the younger boy doubling over with laughter after pulling the most childish of tricks so no one tells him to stop.

Really, it didn't mean much back then—it was just a moment where white, hot humiliation amplified the sound of blood pumping in his ears.

But now, Jake's having a belated realization that he might've just made his future brother-in-law disapprove of him even before he'd caught up to his feelings for Sunoo.

_Future brother-in-law?_

He's losing his mind. He's sure of it. Jake slips out of bed and pads to his desk, where he switches on the lamp and forgets that it's on maximum brightness. So there's this awkward moment where he just stands there, hands glued to his sides as his eyes are squeezed shut while they readjust. When he lets them fly open again out of impatience alone, Jake still feels a little blinded but he opens the first drawer to fish out his pen anyway, his other hand occupied with grabbing the first notebook he finds.

Flipping to an empty page, Jake starts scrawling right away:

**Ways to fall out of love with Sunoo—convince yourself he's a friend and nothing more!**

**1\. Have a friendly dinner with him and the gang (gang must be there)**

**2\. Plan a small argument with him so you can have a friendly debate over something stupid**

**3\. Ask everyone to go on a road trip where we write letters to each other and read them aloud over the bonfire,**

**platonically so that it's very clear we're all just a bunch of good buddies. :)**

When he's done, Jake holds the piece of note some distance away from his face and smiles, a little bit of pride blooming in his chest.

_Yes,_ he thinks, _this should do the trick._

-

Somehow Jake blinks and the next day is already in full swing. They're all over at Soobin's house, occupying different corners either playing (attempting to) ping-ping in the backyard or video games upstairs. Soobin and Sunghoon are just sprawled over the former's bed, flipping idly through comics without actually reading, just letting their eyes roam over the colored pictures. It's a pretty normal day for them, but _why does it feel so different today?_

See, Sunoo's a really easygoing person. When you're talking to him, it feels like walking into a home you've already been to before, where all the furniture's worn and faded with years of use, where the walls bear marks of handprints made when you were younger. But when you fall into bed at night and turn the conversation over in your head again—you kinda realize that you don't really know _know_ him. He's only been integrated into their friend group because he's Soobin's brother, and when they hang out at the older guy's house, Sunoo's always there, shoved into their hands to be babysat. Everyone likes Sunoo—save for Jongseong, who wears this strange, crackly tension around him like an electric fence to ward off trespassers—and Sunoo likes everyone.

He's mischievous, loud, a little less boisterous than when he was young, and while he's cute, he's never given off the energy that people who can or _want_ to be babied do. That's more Riki, who, reserved and stony as he is, loves physical touch and reaches out silently in his own way for hugs and pats on the head all the time. It makes sense. After all, Sunoo is merely a year younger than Jake is...

But it's still funny to Jake how, beyond the obvious, he doesn't really know much about Kim Sunoo.

And now that he _very possibly_ might have a crush on Sunoo, it's harder to open his mouth and ask.

Somehow, they've ended up alone on the couch again, just the two of them. Jake _likes_ socializing, but more than that, he enjoys the company of people he can have comfortable silences with. And that's Sunoo, who talks if you want to, and does his own things, humming to top fifty hits on _Spotify_ if you don't feel like it. He's not the type to start conversations, but he likes having the last word in an argument, just like he's got a fixation with sending the last text.

"Sunoo," Jake slowly starts to say, even if he doesn't know what he _wants_ to talk about. Maybe he'd just wanted to call _Sunoo,_ his pretty name. It's such a magical word, holds the weight of a million potential starters—it _feels_ like magic on his lips. The kind that sents tingles buzzing down like spark wires down your body, makes you feel alive. But the boy's just looking up and it's already making Jake regret this, so he blurts out the first thing on his mind: "Who's your type?"

Sunoo doesn't register this for a few seconds, and he remains quiet for so long Jake might've sunken with relief. Maybe he hadn't just said those words— _maybe_ it was just in his head.

But slowly, the corners of Sunoo's lips curl up, like a Chesire Cat, and he crosses one leg over the other, pulling his back straighter by wrapping his hands around his knee. "Well, well, well... _what_ is this about, really?"

Jake swallows, throat quaking uncertainly. "What do you mean?" he asks in a small voice.

"This is a pretty random thing to drop out of nowhere. Why, do you need help with getting a guy? A girl?"

_Might as well go with the flow. Right. Right, this is okay,_ Jake tells himself, though the voice in his head isn't exactly restoring his confidence. "A guy," he clears his throat. _You._ "I just. I don't know, this was stupid—just pretend I never asked."

"No, no! It's really fine. Just. What does this have to do with my type?"

"Didn't know how or where to start..." Jake mutters. He tilts his head upwards and holds his breath, a stop sign manifesting in the middle of the ceiling. And attached to the pole of the bright red thing is Soobin's hand. _You're trying to get over this stupid crush Jake Sim. Not this._

Sunoo nods in understanding, then leans in a little too close, their shoulders almost touching but not quite, and whispers, "Why, is this your first time liking a guy? It could be pretty overwhelming."

There's not a single thing about that statement that's wrong. It is, in fact, the _most_ overwhelming thing Jake has ever experienced, and this is only throwing him over the ledge. It's not helping that he feels like he's choking on Sunoo's peachy scent—he hadn't the faintest idea prior to this moment, that fruits could smell _so_ , for lack of better words, _pretty._ Just. Simply pretty. And what's more terrifying is that Jake isn't sure if this is just how Sunoo smells, or if he daubs on perfume on his pulse points every morning. 

Jake is staring at how the boy's eyelashes are fanned out over his cheeks, when he looks up to meet the older boy's gaze, his eyes hazel like chocolate glazed in honey. His eye creases are folded in, but they peek out towards the tail of his eyes, _and_ —

Yeah. This is overwhelming.

He finds the words to reply eventually. Just one. " _Yeah."_

And it takes all the remaining air out his lungs to squeeze it out. Sunoo smiles, and he doesn't just smile with the corners like most people do. He presses his lips together, tilts his head down like he's sharing the juiciest secret in the world with you. And there's something reassuring about the way Sunoo doesn't even _explicitly_ say something along the lines of, "I'll take this to the grave with me", or, "I'll keep this a secret", that allows you to invest all your trust in him.

Sunoo smiles with all of his mouth, and Jake really needs to spend less time thinking about his mouth.

The younger pats Jake's shoulders and laughs it off, "It's okay. I was once like this, too."

It's kind of an open secret out there that Sunoo isn't straight. Sunghoon off-handedly asked about it during game night once and Sunoo just shrugged, not really giving a proper answer but knowing that everyone just _gets it_.

"I just don't know how to proceed or what kind of guy he likes..."

Sunoo's eyes are squeezed shut as he raises a hand to his mouth when he laughs. "Oh my god, is that why you asked me what _my_ type is? Jake, it's really got nothing to do with this, you know. Haven't you dated girls before in Australia?"

Jake doesn't like that Sunoo knows he's never dated anyone since he arrived in Korea, fresh-faced and gullible and _friendless_ in a country that conversates in a language he can barely write and read, much less _speak._ He's gotten better at it, and he refrains from letting English bleed through when he's talking, but he can't help it sometimes. These are all just little things to get used to.

He shakes his head slowly, going, "No, not really."

And he also appreciates that Sunoo doesn't make a big deal out of this, going all "No way! You must be lying!" that most people do. It _does_ make him feel a little less _bad_ about his lack of experience in the dating department.

All Sunoo does is consider this, hand holding his chin in the universal thinking pose, before dropping, "Why not? You're really handsome. The first time I saw you I think one of my first thoughts was _wow,_ this guy is really cute."

Jake wants to choke and scream his lungs out on the roof.

Instead, he says: "Thanks," in the most _loserly_ way possible.

"There's no need to be subtle or humble about things like this," Sunoo assures him, waving his hands like he's batting away Jake's humility. "It's true! You had this borderline emo thing going on with your long black hair... I was really wondering how you could even _see._ Well. In any case, you're objectively cute. You have my approval stamp on the personality as well, so what's causing you so much distress?"

Jake forgets the purpose behind this conversation starting in the first place, long enough to let himself absorb what Sunoo's just said.

"I don't know. Just—cute has gotten me nowhere for the past eighteen, nineteen years. Entertain me a little?" he pleads.

Sunoo wrinkles his nose. "Huh. My type..." he mulls over this for a while before craning his neck to cast a look over his shoulder uncertainly. "Soobin hyung has a friend. I'm sure you've seen him around."

Jake's heart takes a dive into the great beyond, the fucking abyss, the void in _Star Wars._

This is the one time he wants, _needs_ , Sunoo to stop talking, and he won't. His mouth is open and the words keep coming out, all perched like birds armed with steel talons, ready to swoop down on him and attack in a flock. _Soobin's friend?_

There's more, and the rest of Sunoo's answer is just as heartbreaking. "He's always with Yeonjun hyung, the one who's in the same grade as Heeseung hyung. His name is Choi Beomgyu, if you know him."

Yeah, of course Jake knows him. They've never talked _alone_ , but they've met on multiple occasions, so Jake is definitely familiar with what he looks like. Tall, ridiculously similar to the way manga artists draw their protagonists—large, expressive eyes, a near-perfect nose line, and a small mouth, all squeezed onto the smallest face the size of a damn _fist._ He checks every box in the Korean beauty standards, and he's not an asshole.

So Sunoo likes guys like manhwa characters who look like they could sweep you off your feet and throw you onto a horse so you can gallop into sunsets together every evening, and Jake doesn't know what to do with this information.

Where Beomgyu looks soft and gentle, Jake's bone structure is on the stronger, sharper side. If Sunoo isn't lying—and Jake doubts the boy would ever feel the need to deliver anything less than cold hard truths—then Jake is _cute,_ handsome. Just not his type.

"Right. Yeah, I know him."

"So, wanna talk about your crush?" Sunoo wriggles his eyebrows.

"No... I think I'll have to think about this a little longer."

If Sunoo had been curious about the reason, it definitely didn't show. He's good at understanding when conversations should end, and he knows this one has drawn to a close. "Take your time," he says easily, because he _has_ to close it.

Jake wishes he could be as nonchalant about it.

-

It's in Sunoo's nature to be touchy at times, eventhough he knows when to keep his distance. He also seems to have an obsession with getting people to like him, but he's good at sniffing out the ones who won't budge. Sunoo chases after the possible, and the first time Jake realizes this is four months into their first meeting, when Jake was waiting for his parents to pick him up from Soobin's house. Soobin had left his brother in the living room, alone with Jake, so he could return to being at Kai's beck and call, and Sunoo had turned to him expectantly on the couch.

He thinks it might a be running joke in the Choi household to call everyone who comes over "Sunoo's new babysitter", because the boy carries himself like a grown-up and he's surprisingly mature for his age. Sometimes Jake thinks Sunoo sounds even more wizened than Heeseung or _Soobin,_ who regularly refers to themselves as hags.

But in certain moments when Sunoo is _really_ letting go, you can see the shift in his behavior and how he slowly worms his way closer.

It's in Sunoo's nature to be touchy at times, and Jake hadn't realized that pushing someone's hair back could be so... _platonic_ until Sunoo did it for him.

"Your hair was in your eyes," he'd clarified, smiling.

"Thanks, Sunoo."

"No worries, hyung," the younger boy chirped, his hand falling back to his side naturally. Like it'd meant nothing at all. Sunoo must've known that Jake would eventually come around and love him, long for his presence and feel his glaring absence like a gaping tear in a wall you couldn't take your eyes off when he wasn't around to hang out with them. He really must've known, because Sunoo was smart enough to stop trying to approach Jongseong first. It puzzled the latter initially, but now they've made their peace with kinda where they stand in the group. On opposite sides, either end, whatever.

But when it came to Jake, Sunoo was determined.

Jake had experience with receiving Valentines from juniors in school, back in Brisbane where things like that were normal. Going on dates that didn't have to mean _something_ , light touches exchanged between friends. He'd been worried when Sunoo started pushing against his walls, until he realized that there was nothing close to resembling admiration, or even a puppy crush, in Sunoo's eyes when he fell into Jake's space laughing, or playfully swatted his shoulder, as if to tell him, _stop._ Sunoo looks for connections that _could_ happen. He likes making people fall in love with having him around, hell-bent on making everyone like the ease of his companionship.

"You're a nice person, hyung."

Jake wasn't used to being called _hyung_ , doesn't really care for honorifics. He'd also never grown used to being complimented for things like this, so he only smiled awkwardly in response to that.

Sunoo had nodded, looking him up and down, as if to say, _Yes. You will do nicely. You shall be my next friend._

"I'll make you love me. If you haven't yet." Sunoo goes straight to the point always, doesn't see the point in beating around the bush. It's an innocent statement, raw and put bluntly, on Sunoo's end. Still, it felt a little like a threat.

Jake remembers feeling like he might be in trouble.

Of course, he's right about that. When he thinks of Sunoo _now,_ he sees three pictures. Sunoo with his book of the people he's managed to collect over the years; Sunoo with a little jar of hearts; Sunoo, who comes with so much love, he has more to spare even after dishing out the rich proportions to all the people dear to his heart.

If Medusa has her snakes, Sunoo has his hearts. Both equally, positively lethal, both just as tempting all the same.

-

Jake's first opportunity to banish this crush into the forgotten hollows of the dusty part of his mind arrives drawn in a silver carriage when Heeseung calls them all out for dinner. Soobin had excused himself, definitely not for _'I want to spend more time alone with Kai'_ reasons, but Sunoo had made it. They're seated in a quiet corner of a K-BBQ place made noisy by them, and Jongseong is handling the meat, all the while tearing up as the smoke dries his eyeballs out. They keep laughing at how it makes Jongseong look like a reddened pufferfish, and it's not even funny by the seventh time it makes its wave around the table, but they join in the chorus to tease the blond anyway.

Somehow, Jake finds himself sandwiched by Sunghoon and Sunoo, who have both always been more of the listener in group activities, the type to only pitch in when needed. Sunghoon's always been the reticent type, withdrawn and never feeling the full extent of his emotions. Sunoo, well, because he's observant. He's always looking at people like he's in a museum, trying to get a feel of all the art pieces.

And since Jake himself is often influenced by the energy around him, he finds himself on the calmer end tonight, too.

He laughs, he makes fun of Jongseong like his life depends on it, his thoughts spiral out of control every time he finds himself hyperaware of how close they're sitting. Well, they _are_ crammed into a booth with seven people, but Sunoo is just _next to him_ , and he can't really process a thought without ending it with his new favorite word: Sunoo.

_Get your shit together,_ he chides himself, but _how?_ He wishes that feelings were volatile, surface-level. They'd readily evaporate into the air without another trace, and this would all be so easily forgotten. Except it isn't, because as soon as Jake noticed the peachy scent Sunoo favors, he can't just _stop_ thinking about how much Sunoo resembles a peach. Pink-tinged cheeks, fuzzy all over, _so sweet._ Jake has problems.

Almost all of them stem from this ridiculously juvenile crush on Sunoo.

Why does he like Sunoo anyway? Because he's always so giving and kind to the people around him—and Jake _maybe_ , maybe wants to be the sole receiver of that unconditional love? Because Sunoo's hair looks soft and smells like baby powder? Because he looks so cute trying to forgo the _hyung_ when he talks to Jake? Or is it that Sunoo is just. So. Intelligent? And he doesn't even flaunt it, and the fact that Jake's noticed it despite him desperately trying to push it under the radar is impressive. Sunoo is perceptive, cunning, playful, and always game for a good joke. He ponders on his words, reflects on his mistakes without being asked to. He's always so _considerate,_ and he's everything Jake aspires to be, and he doesn't even try.

Now that he thinks about it, those are all very valid reasons to like someone.

But everytime he looks at Sunoo and even thinks about swinging an arm over his shoulder, he kinda sees _Soobin_ instead.

The night has only just started, they haven't even had their portions of meat yet, and Jake already feels fatigue blurring the edges of his vision black. He wants to slip under the table and take a nap on the stupid floor.

"Are you okay?" Sunoo asks, from the right, and Jake clenches his jaw to keep from turning to him.

"I'm fine, just a little tired."

"You should eat more."

Jongseong overhears their conversation, because _of course he does._ And he leans over to snatch Jake's plate and piles on the first round of the _samgyeopsal_ , dripping in grease and fat, still sizzling from heat. He then passes it back to Jake amidst protest from Heeseung, who's been whining that he's hungry for the past hour.

"You can wait," Jongseong tells him promptly, but Jake offers him two pieces anyway, which the older boy gratefully accepts. "You're all a bunch of _hyenas!_ "

"Jay hyung's always so nice to you," Sunoo notes. He's the only one who calls Jongseong ' _Jay'_ , and Jake tries his best to use the same nickname when they're hanging out in a group so Sunoo doesn't feel too alienated. The first time they'd met, Jongseong had introduced himself to Sunoo with his English name. It's nothing personal—he'd done the same with Jake, except, the latter had naturally felt more comfortable with Jongseong and now it's just... a constant back-and-forth between the two. Jongseong always shoots him a quirked eyebrow when Jake reverts back to the less-affectionate name, but he probably knows why.

Sunoo knows why, too—just doesn't particularly care. They get along _fine_ , enough that it doesn't wedge an axe in the gang's dynamic all the time. Besides, Jongseong _had_ offered, albeit rather begrudgingly, about a month ago. Muffled into the scarf he was wearing, he'd tapped Sunoo quickly on the shoulder and said, "Look, kid, if you want to you could call me Jongseong hyung too."

The younger boy rolled his eyes at being called a 'kid' and, very good-naturedly, tugged on Jongseong's scarf twice. And because it wasn't wrapped around all that well, just carelessly thrown off, it'd unraveled and Jongseong caught it right before it fell to the ground. "I like calling you Jay hyung. You're okay with that?"

"Yeah, whatever," Jongseong had said, then melted back into his spot by Jungwon's side. It came as a surprise to the rest of the group but they didn't dwell on the abrupt show of cordiality and moved on like nothing happened. Sometimes Jake feels like the only one who felt the extra hint of smugness in his smirks for the rest of that day.

_Jay hyung's always so nice to you._ So Sunoo doesn't care to beg for people's affection—it doesn't mean that he doesn't notice the divide.

"Jong's nice to everyone," he tries to iron it out. "Maybe I'm cuter."

"I agree."

Jake immediately raises his cup of green tea to his mouth and pretends like he's gulping down the drink, when he's actually only swallowing down pockets of air. Unfortunately for him, when he slams his cup back down on the table, Sunoo is still gazing in his general direction.

"Do you want some?" he timidly offers Sunoo.

"For god's sake," Jongseong mumbles, then uses a pair of chopsticks to pick a large piece up, holds it up to Sunoo's mouth. The younger boy's rather taken aback, but he leans in closer, not more than he has to, and lightly slides the chunk into his mouth with his teeth. Jongseong's giving him a smile—the kind he only reserves for Riki and Jungwon, and the gentle look in his eyes, despite his hardened mouth, is obvious even through the smokescreen. "Is it good?" he asks even before Sunoo could bite into the juicy part.

Sunoo hisses, "S' hot." But they all watch him till he bites into it and holds up a genuine thumbs up. "Really good. You're a great cook."

"What would you all do without me..." the blond whistles, then goes back to his meet-grilling duties, Jungwon and Heeseung exchanging an unreadable look across the table. While the oldest among them has his head turned another way, Riki steals the last bite, Sunghoon just keeps looking at them fondly, laughing to himself.

Jake, well, he doesn't feel like laughing too much himself.

Halfway through dinner, Jake offers to take over Jongseong's role on the grill, let him take some rest, and Sunoo claps excitedly for him.

The first person he feeds is Sunoo, and he makes sure to lean in so that Sunoo doesn't have to inhale any more of the ashy stench of the smoke. If there's anyone questioning why he did that right after Jongseong, no one voices it. Maybe they all know that Sunoo is his favorite. Jake thinks that might be something that runs common among most of them. Riki, Sunghoon... himself. Sunoo isn't _very_ close to them, but he's easy to love.

The type of friend you could not talk to for six months, but you know they'd be waiting there at the same place if you needed a safe place to vent.

Everything's so easy for Sunoo, Jake is now realizing that this crush was inevitable from the very start.

-

"Jake hyung," Sunoo had been calling him. "Help me with my English essay?"

That was how it started. Then he finished leaving comments and remarks on the piece Sunoo had written for school, one detailing the importance of pop culture. He'd asked Jake for references and he delivered, but most of the material was provided by Sunoo, who, he realized, got really into research. He'd made a passing remark on that and Sunoo only shrugged.

"I like learning."

Jake remembers finding that admirable, and it struck a chord in him, how he'd always wanted to be the kind of person Sunoo was. He's always done things because he felt like it, not because he's trying to conform himself to some standard or expectation his family set for him. Jake sometimes, to _this_ day, wonders if he'd like Physics so much if it weren't for the fact that he just excelled in it.

"It's kinda funny how some of these Westerners call their parents by their first names..." Sunoo had been saying, then he turned to Jake. "Do you?"

"Korean parents," he reminded the boy. It was true that they were less strict about their traditions than the average Korean, but still. "I call them Mom and Dad, mostly."

"What about your older brother, do you call him _hyung?"_

"Uh," Jake considered this for a moment. "No, now that I think about it... He just wasn't very particular about things like that."

"How do you decide? If you should address someone with honorifics?"

"Well," he'd said, scratching his neck eventhough it wasn't itchy. "Since I'm here now, I use honorifics with everyone."

Sunoo, ever so curious, had sat up at his desk, perking up at how _breezily_ Jake had explained his thoughts on the topic. "Well, would you mind if someone younger than you doesn't call you hyung?"

He'd frowned. "I'm pretty okay with anything. I guess, if that person in question is more comfortable that way, I don't see why not? Like how it doesn't matter if someone called me Jake or Jaeyun."

"You introduced yourself as Jake, though..." Sunoo pointed out.

"It _is_ what I went by for a long time."

"And if I called you Jaeyun? Without the hyung?" Sunoo beamed—he'd been trying to get a rise out of Jake, tried to fish some reaction. He liked to pester people that way, giggle at their building irritation before melting it all down with coos and soothing hugs.

"Then call me Jaeyun. It's _fine_."

"Huh."

Sunoo probed the inside of his cheek with the tip of his tongue, then shrugged it off, going back to rectify every mistake Jake had underlined on his paper. After that incident, Jake would sometimes be halfway into a conversation with Sunoo before realizing that the younger boy had forgone the _hyung_ completely. There's always a lapse in his reaction, and when the surprise wears off his face, Sunoo would go back to calling him hyung, sly smile on display.

Jake thinks this might be how he _really_ started jumping back and forth between Jongseong and Jay, and it's really ridiculous how many aspects of his life are affected by Sunoo without the latter realizing it.

-

Start a stupid argument with Sunoo. Huh. Jake's not too sure how to do that.

He's always been agreeable, and Sunoo, well, if he senses that his opinion conflicts with yours, he'd be the first to pull away. It isn't easy to get him angry, and honestly, Jake doesn't _want_ to see him angry.

But it seems that Sunoo presents him with the opportunity himself on a silver platter. "You _never_ watched Powerpuff Girls?"

"I don't know... I mean, I've _heard of it."_ Jake tries to justify.

Sunoo stares at him, mouth hanging open, then mumbles, "This is what you get for growing up painfully straight. _Like_ — _you're missing out on all the good stuff!"_

That's how they end up bingeing Powerpuff Girls on the Chois' couch till six, when Sunoo's mom returns home and asks him if he'd like to stay for dinner. He's planned on saying on, but Sunoo accepted on his behalf, said that Jake's stomach had been " _growling all night"_. A hyperbole, an exaggeration, a shameless lie that Sunoo didn't bother hiding. Mrs. Kim only laughs and ruffles Sunoo's hair, then looks at Jake expectantly. She probably knows that her son has a penchant for mischief.

But he finds himself _wanting_ to stay for a bit longer, so he nods and Sunoo cheers. After sending a quick text to let his mom know he'll be coming back a little later, Sunoo gets dragged into the kitchen seeing as it's his turn to help with dinner prep today.

Jake follows him mindlessly, until Soobin steps out from the shadows and catches a hold on his arm. He's narrowing his eyes, crooking a finger to signal that Jake comes with him instead. He has a pretty bad feeling about this, but at the same time he knows avoiding Soobin any longer isn't going to mitigate the mess of an image he'd given himself the day he fell onto Sunoo _physically_ , so he hangs his head and walks up the flight of stairs after the older boy.

"Here," Soobin says. They've stopped at the topmost step, and the tall boy is folding himself into a crouch on the floorboards, gesturing with his chin for Jake to do the same next to him.

"Like, not in your bedroom?" Jake suggests nervously, peering through the banisters to estimate how far away they are from the kitchen.

"This is fine," Soobin insists. "We need to have a long-overdue talk, I'm sure you know."

Jake winces and braces himself for the worst.

"Okay."

"So," Soobin begins, rather officially, then dips in volume _and_ pitch. "What the fuck."

" _What?"_ He's feeling rather defensive today. Brownies if you can guess why.

"Jake, you like my brother. You have the _biggest,_ fattest crush on him known to mankind. _Of course_ I'm going to ask you _what in the fuck?_ Really, Jake? You could've literally chosen to like, I don't know... Heeseung? _Hoon? "_

Jake sticks out his tongue like he's gagging, and really he must commend himself for being able to joke in such a confrontation. "Look, that's gross. They're my _best friends."_

"So is my brother," Soobin leans in, furiously whispering.

"I don't know why I like him either, okay? I,"—he scrubs a hand over his face and blows the hair out his eyes. He's going to have to schedule a cut soon. All this hair is getting in his way of appreciating _all_ of Sunoo's radiant charm—" _I_ don't even know when it started... I promise I didn't hit on your brother or anything. I didn't even think anyone could tell."

"Heeseung was the one who confirmed my worst suspicions," Soobin reveals, shaking his head. "I mean, I thought you were just looking out for him. Then when I asked Hee he told me he felt the same. Like you've been looking at him different these days."

_That's an apt way of putting it,_ he's thinking. _That's exactly what it feels like._

Lately, he's been thinking of how Sunoo's changed. Or maybe it's just that he's focusing more now that he doesn't care about what goes on behind his foreground thoughts of Kim Sunoo. He's caught a severe case of tunnel vision, as embarrassing as it is to admit. Sunoo's freckles are varying shades of brown—his cheeks are full and his bone structure is unique, gorgeous. His hands are large, fingers long not necessarily as straight as a pianist's might be. He's funnier these days, so much more magnetic. He's delicate, vulnerable, so strong, so unapologetic.

He stopped looking at Sunoo as he paints himself to be, and really started looking into the empty spaces Sunoo leaves behind for someone to stumble and trip into.

Ten minutes ago they've been arguing with Powerpuff girl is the best and he'd like Buttercup, Bubbles. They found it funny that Blossom's Jake's favorite, because Sunoo really dislikes her.

"Stop thinking about him when I'm talking to you about _him,"_ Sunoo's older brother snaps curtly. "Just. Stop thinking about him, end of the story."

"Does it bother you this much that _I_ have a crush on Sunoo? I mean, Kai has _two_ sisters."

Soobin sputters, then veers them down another route. "They _like_ me."

"Are you implying you don't like me?"

"No! I just don't like the thought of you dating my brother."

Jake feels Soobin's arguments toppling into each other, maybe cause he never really had one in the first place. This was probably just a test to see if Jake would give up chasing just because he's been told to stop. Or maybe that's just the wishful thinking going on in his head, a tangled web of thoughts, assuring him that _that's_ the truth. This could go either superbly, or he'd be accelerating their downfall and he might get banished from the Chois' for good.

He won't give up without trying.

Jake isn't the type to ignore a question when he's just found the solution.

"But I like him a lot. And whether he reciprocates, I'm going to make sure he's happy."

Soobin maintains his silence. Without saying a thing, he stands up and leaves.

-

Sunoo's freckles are like confectionaries littering the counter after a fruitful Halloween; or maybe like stars do the sky on a dark night, like those popping star candies that fizzle in your mouth, sprinkled over midnight-colored spun cotton. It's too bad that the sun has set now. They're on the road trip they've been planning for months, about six weeks since Soobin and Jake had the Talk. They're in some random countryside place that Jongseong rented for them off of Airbnb, and it's relatively serene, if they ignore the mosquitoes out for blood. Jungwon and Riki are burning incense and Sunghoon's just running around " _whee-ing"_ into the lush greenery that circles this place.

The house itself is modern, all concrete and glass, complete with a sloping ceiling, but, when they're outside here, pulling out the grills and unloading the food from the back of Jongseong's roomy car with the building to their backs, it's really just them in nature, the air damp with the smell of dew and moonlight, if _moonlight_ had a smell. There's this scent Jake can't wrap his head around: just the night, and the endless possibilities. He doesn't really believe in magic, stopped reading the Harry Potter books after the Goblet of Fire.

Sometimes all it takes is a night like this to get your thoughts unraveling, defying everything you've been committed to learning your whole life, just to indulge in some childhood belief that magic _could_ be real. Well, if it exists, Jake thinks that this place might be thrumming with the life of it. That, and because a whole peach farm has moved into his nose.

"Jaeyun hyung," Sunoo exhales. "Pretty night."

He looks at Sunoo, tries to challenge himself to spotting and connecting every freckle on his skin. It's impossible, and Jake finds that a shame. He wants to learn their placements so he can thumb over them from muscle memory, with or without light.

"Did you get your letter ready?"

Jake pats his pocket, grins. He actually has two, one being the original list of ways to fall out of love with Sunoo that he keeps around as a reminder. The other is the one they've promised to pen to each other before arriving here, and it seems that no one has forgotten.

"How amazing would it be if we could see some shooting stars tonight..." Sunoo throws him a sidelong glance.

"You have a wish in mind?"

"No," the younger boy heaves. "Just what ifs. Wouldn't know what to wish for, anyway and I think that's part of the excitement. Entertaining yourself, having it come true and _bam!_ You've just proven the existence of some fairy godmother who's looking after you."

Jake looks at Sunoo.

_I'd wish for your eternal happiness._

They're standing over the bonfire that none of them could light except for Riki, who keeps pointing to it, then throwing his hands out, spinning to garner more applause while he can milk it. One by one, they draw small pieces of paper out a magician's hat that for some reason, Sunghoon apparently just lugs around with him.

"Taehyun's," he'd explained.

"Jake hyung, I got yours!" Sunoo waves his slip in the air like it's the best thing that's happened to him all day, and he bounds over to Jake, slips two fingers into the older boy's pocket and pulls his letter out. He can't help but smile at how cute Sunoo is tonight, practically _glowing_ with glee.

Even the rest are laughing, though it's pretty muted. As far as Jake is concerned, when Sunoo is around, everything else is but background noise.

Heeseung and Riki pick each other, Sunoo's goes to Sunghoon, and the latter's to Jungwon. Jay is celebrating Jungwon's letter in his triumphant hand when he passes his wrinkled one over to Jake.

They decide to start from Heeseung, working their way down the group according to age, and eventually a few tears are shed here and there, though none of them possess the ability to _not_ turn everything into a joke, so they wrap up each letter so far cracking up. Then it gets to Sunoo, and as soon as his expression crumple into one of bewilderment, Jake _knows_ what's wrong. But he's opposite Sunoo, six to twelve, and he can't leap over the fire without his pants catching, _or_ divert their attention without looking suspicious.

Then the same smirk curls up on Sunoo's lips like a well-rested cat, and he looks up, meets Jake's eyes like it's a threat.

"Wow, I think our Jake hyung got the assignment wrong," he says, so unnecessarily loud that Heeseung definitely _feels_ the shift in energy in the air. The crackling of the bonfire, the branches scraping against each other, the gentle caress of wind rustling the leaves... all of a sudden, all these noises are a _lot_ louder than Sunoo's clear, unwavering voice.

"What do you mean?" Riki asks.

"See, we were supposed to write about _each other,"_ Sunoo explains, folds the letter back up following the well-defined creases, and tucks it into his sleeve.

Jongseong switches his attention to Jake, almost accusingly. "I mean, that's the whole point, isn't it, _Sim Jaeyun."_

Sunghoon only fans the fire readily, like he's been waiting for this for a _long_ time. "Tell us what it says!

"He only wrote about _me."_ Sunoo pouts, then pats Jungwon's shoulder, who happened to be placed right next to him. "I'm afraid I'm a little too emotionally _attached_ to this letter now, and I should have my own privacy with it, don't you think?"

"No fair, hyung, you _told me I was your favorite,"_ Riki cries, looking genuinely betrayed.

And Jake, well, he wants the fucking ground beneath his feet to fissure and part into a huge, mechanical mouth to chomp through him, pull him away from this _humiliation._ He's desperately trying to remember what he wrote on that cursed thing, but his brain isn't too keen on bending to his will right now, because all it registers is a high-pitched screeching contest going on in his mind and whatever else lives. His angel, his devil, _anyone—_

Stars and Sunoo are synonymous, just like how the cackling they're doing over his stupid _exchanged_ letters is one and the same with the death of his pride.

They move on soon after, not before Jongseong fits in his huge speech about how he's _thankful, eternally grateful that he's no longer the butt of their jokes from now on._ Jungwon says something along the lines of, "No one's going to make for a better comic relief than you, hyung", and the topic of conversation is sent spinning like a wheel of fortune again. One with a _tiny_ slice that represented the _smallest_ chance of _mis-_ fortune, that Jake got despite all the odds at his turn.

It's Jungwon's turn, he's reading aloud Sunghoon's thoughts, as well-framed as and disciplined as the guy _usually_ is.

Through the dancing flames, Sunoo catches Jake's gaze and they hold it, just long enough for his heartbeat to skip.

-

Sunoo waltzes in, barges into Jake's room as soon as most of them have settled into their own corners, buzzing after a great night, but still too exhausted to continue talking. 

The letter is nowhere in sight.

"I can explain."

"Oh trust me, you've actually got _quite_ some explaining to do."

"I've already talked about this with Soobin hyung and he... I got over it, okay?" Jake blushes deeply, so violent it isn't just crimson anymore.

"Ah, you're _over it."_ Sunoo nods, clasping his hands behind his back, his mouth gathering into a pout like the petals of a rosebud would, right before its promise of blooming. Jake wants nothing but to draw closer and water that bud, have it blossom right under his own lips, but right now he doesn't seem to be the one holding the reins on _what_ unfolds after this. "You're over it and it's exactly why you brought this list onto our trip?"

Jake purses his lips—the boy has a point.

"Fine, I like you," he concedes, and it feels like all the air's rushing out, all at once. "I like you still and-and I'm glad you know now."

You see, for as unsure as Jake had been about the execution, he's always been a chaser for answers, just so he can readily spread information when he's asked. And right now he's being questioned, and it doesn't feel right that he should lie about not having the solution. He _likes_ Sunoo. And there's no fault in liking someone, not when he's willing to put in the _hundred percent._

"Could've just said that." Sunoo shrugs, venturing deeper into the den Jake had made himself, out a little dark corner of the room. "Didn't have to make a whole list, you know..."

Sunoo's hand is now pressed to the wall, palm flat, arm straight. It's right over Jake's right shoulder.

"S-Sunoo, we're getting kinda close right now, _haha—"_

Sunoo's freckles are visible here, in the mellow lighting of the room. That's the last thing he sees, before the scent of peaches overwhelm him.

His last thought was of Sunoo's final and only warning: _"I'll make you love me, if you haven't yet."_

Turns out, Sunoo had been right all along.

**Author's Note:**

> and that's it!! please make sure to leave kudos and comments if you liked it and here are my socials!!!!
> 
>  _twitter_[ _ **here**_](https://twitter.com/ricecookerym)  
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> 


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